I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
