He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
