I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
