i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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