Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
