Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
