Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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