Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
