Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
