You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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