I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
