We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
