Duck Duck Cougar?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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