Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
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