If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
