I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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