I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
