we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
