WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
