drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
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