I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
