i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
