Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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