Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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