the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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