He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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