Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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