NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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