New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
