Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The power of my boobs compel you
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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