OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
