I accidentally had phone sex last night
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
