my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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