have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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