dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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