Whod you bang
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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