Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
