you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
