I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I need to align my fucking chakras
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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