I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
