I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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