So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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