I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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