When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
