her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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