If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
