I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
