SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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