he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
