So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
